There are people who will die, never having seen
the mountains, or the great oceans, or the hills and prairies of the
Midwest, or the great skyscrapers of New York City. And there are people
who will never understand how exhilarating it is to breathe in the cold
air of a winter night and gaze up at the bright stars, and there are
people who will never know the feeling of warm California sand between
their toes, or understand the smell of a real Christmas tree and the
warmth of a fire. Some people will never witness the magnificence of a
sunrise or sunset, and some will never experience the quiet calm and
peace of waking up early in the morning in the woods after a night spent
in a tent. But there is a experience that every. single. person. who
has ever lived has experienced: interaction with another person. Whether
it was being alive in the womb, being held in someone's arms, talking
with a stranger on the street, saying "thanks" to the cashier at the
grocery store, making eye contact with the person 10 feet away in the
library, laughing with people over corny jokes at 2 a.m., crying with
someone, learning with a person... the list goes on forever. No one has
ever NOT been around a person, even if that time was just at the
beginning of their life. Everyone has had an experience and interaction
with another human. God created so many magnificent things in the world,
and we should appreciate and enjoy them because they bring glory to
Him. But the thing that everyone in the human race shares is that we
have all had contact with someone who is MADE IN THE IMAGE OF GOD. The
evidence of God's handiwork is right before my own eyes, and every day I
get the opportunity to speak with people who were created by God and
are loved by Him.
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
A Ballad of the Sea
I was looking through some poetry that I wrote last year, and I came across this one...
A Ballad of the Sea
The sea is an ocean of
memories.
It begins when memories are
left,
Forgotten somewhere on a
sandy beach.
The broken-hearted lover
comes
And leaves his broken
dreams
Lying in the sand.
And old man walks in the
sand;
He pauses, remembering the
time
When he first set sail on
the sea,
And when he fought in his
first war.
He leaves pieces of
memories
Scattered by the ocean.
A middle-aged woman
Lets the tears fall in the
white sand,
And then leaves her past
regrets there,
Where no one can find them.
And when the tide comes,
It gathers the memories
left on the beach,
And sweeps them back into
dark waters.
And that is why
The sea is an ocean of
memories.
All those memories, stored
in the depths,
Mean that, perhaps,
The ocean is the greatest
secret-keeper of all.
~a.v.g.
Saturday, January 17, 2015
1/17/15
I am overwhelmed by the thought that I, of all the sinners in the world, would ever be allowed to lay all of my heavy burdens, my sins, and all of my earthly cares at the foot of the cross where Christ died to forgive my sins, even the worst of them. He has forgiven me, He has taken all of my burdens and all of my cares, and He continues to show me perfect, everlasting love.
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
2014: The year of so many opportunities that I can't remember them all
It's been quite a year. I've done enough in 2014 to cover about 5 years... it was busy, wonderful, hard, overwhelming, challenging, and rewarding all at the same time.
2014 began a year ago with... me sleeping in my bed because I had a terrible headache and went to bed at 9 instead of staying up until midnight. It was peaceful.
And then, less peacefully, came the 2nd semester of my junior year of high school... which meant a lot of school work, plus raveling to debate tournaments in Kansas, Bellevue, Minnesota, and Iowa. I got 3rd in impromptu at one tournament by talking about the failures of my past love life, and Natalie and I finally broke our 2nd place streak by getting first place in Team Policy debate at Regionals. Those were some fun times. I also spent the first three months of the year attending regular meetings every week to prepare for a mission's trip.
In April, I took the ACT for the last time, and then went on a mission's trip to Mexico (my first time out of the United States!) and got to spend a week sharing God's Word and His love with kids who were eager to learn. My heart was filled with so much joy.
In May, there was Regionals, home school graduation (where I thought: "That'll be me next year!"), and a ton of graduation parties to attend.
In June, I spent the first week living on the UNL campus because I was attending Nebraska Girls State. I made new friends, ran for a political office, and was elected chairman of the Nationalist party, so I got to be in charge of managing the thoughts and opinions of 200 girls. As soon as that week was over, my parents picked me up, I went home, packed a different suitcase, and we drove (along with Haley and Annie) all the way out to Virginia. We all read "the Fault in Our Stars" on the way out, and decided it was OK, but not great. That week we attended the NCFCA National tournament at Patrick Henry College. I was tired of people (which never happens), sick with a really bad cough (always perfect when you have to do a lot of speaking), but it was a fun week. Then we took another couple of days, after the tournament was over, to go into Washington D.C. and do some touring there, which was fun... and then we also made a stop at Colonial Williamsburg. Then we started traveling back and made a stop at Hillsdale, Michigan for a college visit, before finally making it home. You know, I love traveling and seeing new places, but getting home after that trip was one of the best feelings in the world. I believe in my heart that Nebraska really is the Good Life.
In July, I flew back out to Washington D.C. for Girls Nation, where I spent a week with nearly a hundred girls from all around the United States. We debated bills that we had written in a mock Senate, we visited monuments and memorials, had a wreath-laying ceremony at Arlington Cemetery, visited the Holocaust museum and heard the story of a Holocaust survivor, we met with our Senators and Representatives, visited the Library of Congress, held an inauguration ceremony in the Capitol, and met the President of the United States. I made a lot of friends that week, but that week also taught me to be very grateful for the moral values and upbringing that I have been given.
In August, I said goodbye to all my friends who were heading to college, and then my family traveled to Colorado for some intense hiking experiences. We attempted to climb Long's Peak, and even though we didn't make it (at 6.5 miles up the mountain, there was a bad storm, so we decided to be smart and not continue), I still had a great experience. Climbing up above the treeline at 3 or 4 in the morning is an incredible experience... to the East we could see the entire city of Denver and the lights that illuminated it. Above me, the stars shined more brightly than they ever had before (probably because I was so high up). And then we got to watch the sunrise.... and watch as the sun's light slowly warmed and brought light to the world around me. It was magnificent. At the end of August, I also started dating my best friend Jonah, and the conversations with him and memories that we've made have been wonderful.
September began with the realization that everyone who had ever told me that "Senior year is so easy!" was actually lying. My life was quickly consumed with scholarship applications, a college application (ok, so I only applied to one place...), trying to make decisions for next year, and keeping up with homework. It was a good kind of busy.
October wasn't too exciting... just a lot of meetings to go to, campaigning to do, events at UNL to attend, homework to do, and a Physics class at a local college that stressed me out more than I should have let it.
In November, I had the opportunity to speak in front of some veterans and show them my appreciation for everything that they've done for this country. I turned 18, registered to vote, and didn't buy any cigarettes.
In December, I finished school for the semester (I'm 7/8 of the way through high school!!!), pulled off a high A in my Physics class, got 3rd at a practice debate tournament, and spent Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and several days after Christmas with family... just talking, telling stories, and learning how to dance better. And then somehow on the 31st of December I found myself sitting here, writing about what a year it has been.
I feel so blessed to have been given so many chances to have such wonderful experiences this past year. It's been incredible.... but not just because I've done cool things. It's been incredible because this year I met new people, made new friendships, strengthened old friendships, and had better conversations and laughed more than I have in any of the other years. Doing things and going to interesting places have given me a lot of good memories. But the best memories from this year have just been from people. Late night hotel conversations with Annie and Haley, going for a walk in the evening at the Minnesota National Open, meeting Israelis who were on vacation in Colorado and getting to know them, telling family stories around the fire on December 26th, talking about my faith and having it challenged, spending evenings playing games and watching movies with people that I love... those times have given me the best memories of this past year.
Thank you so much, everyone. You all have helped to make 2014 the best year yet. :) Now let's make 2015 even better.... ;)
2014 began a year ago with... me sleeping in my bed because I had a terrible headache and went to bed at 9 instead of staying up until midnight. It was peaceful.
And then, less peacefully, came the 2nd semester of my junior year of high school... which meant a lot of school work, plus raveling to debate tournaments in Kansas, Bellevue, Minnesota, and Iowa. I got 3rd in impromptu at one tournament by talking about the failures of my past love life, and Natalie and I finally broke our 2nd place streak by getting first place in Team Policy debate at Regionals. Those were some fun times. I also spent the first three months of the year attending regular meetings every week to prepare for a mission's trip.
In April, I took the ACT for the last time, and then went on a mission's trip to Mexico (my first time out of the United States!) and got to spend a week sharing God's Word and His love with kids who were eager to learn. My heart was filled with so much joy.
In May, there was Regionals, home school graduation (where I thought: "That'll be me next year!"), and a ton of graduation parties to attend.
In June, I spent the first week living on the UNL campus because I was attending Nebraska Girls State. I made new friends, ran for a political office, and was elected chairman of the Nationalist party, so I got to be in charge of managing the thoughts and opinions of 200 girls. As soon as that week was over, my parents picked me up, I went home, packed a different suitcase, and we drove (along with Haley and Annie) all the way out to Virginia. We all read "the Fault in Our Stars" on the way out, and decided it was OK, but not great. That week we attended the NCFCA National tournament at Patrick Henry College. I was tired of people (which never happens), sick with a really bad cough (always perfect when you have to do a lot of speaking), but it was a fun week. Then we took another couple of days, after the tournament was over, to go into Washington D.C. and do some touring there, which was fun... and then we also made a stop at Colonial Williamsburg. Then we started traveling back and made a stop at Hillsdale, Michigan for a college visit, before finally making it home. You know, I love traveling and seeing new places, but getting home after that trip was one of the best feelings in the world. I believe in my heart that Nebraska really is the Good Life.
In July, I flew back out to Washington D.C. for Girls Nation, where I spent a week with nearly a hundred girls from all around the United States. We debated bills that we had written in a mock Senate, we visited monuments and memorials, had a wreath-laying ceremony at Arlington Cemetery, visited the Holocaust museum and heard the story of a Holocaust survivor, we met with our Senators and Representatives, visited the Library of Congress, held an inauguration ceremony in the Capitol, and met the President of the United States. I made a lot of friends that week, but that week also taught me to be very grateful for the moral values and upbringing that I have been given.
In August, I said goodbye to all my friends who were heading to college, and then my family traveled to Colorado for some intense hiking experiences. We attempted to climb Long's Peak, and even though we didn't make it (at 6.5 miles up the mountain, there was a bad storm, so we decided to be smart and not continue), I still had a great experience. Climbing up above the treeline at 3 or 4 in the morning is an incredible experience... to the East we could see the entire city of Denver and the lights that illuminated it. Above me, the stars shined more brightly than they ever had before (probably because I was so high up). And then we got to watch the sunrise.... and watch as the sun's light slowly warmed and brought light to the world around me. It was magnificent. At the end of August, I also started dating my best friend Jonah, and the conversations with him and memories that we've made have been wonderful.
September began with the realization that everyone who had ever told me that "Senior year is so easy!" was actually lying. My life was quickly consumed with scholarship applications, a college application (ok, so I only applied to one place...), trying to make decisions for next year, and keeping up with homework. It was a good kind of busy.
October wasn't too exciting... just a lot of meetings to go to, campaigning to do, events at UNL to attend, homework to do, and a Physics class at a local college that stressed me out more than I should have let it.
In November, I had the opportunity to speak in front of some veterans and show them my appreciation for everything that they've done for this country. I turned 18, registered to vote, and didn't buy any cigarettes.
In December, I finished school for the semester (I'm 7/8 of the way through high school!!!), pulled off a high A in my Physics class, got 3rd at a practice debate tournament, and spent Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and several days after Christmas with family... just talking, telling stories, and learning how to dance better. And then somehow on the 31st of December I found myself sitting here, writing about what a year it has been.
I feel so blessed to have been given so many chances to have such wonderful experiences this past year. It's been incredible.... but not just because I've done cool things. It's been incredible because this year I met new people, made new friendships, strengthened old friendships, and had better conversations and laughed more than I have in any of the other years. Doing things and going to interesting places have given me a lot of good memories. But the best memories from this year have just been from people. Late night hotel conversations with Annie and Haley, going for a walk in the evening at the Minnesota National Open, meeting Israelis who were on vacation in Colorado and getting to know them, telling family stories around the fire on December 26th, talking about my faith and having it challenged, spending evenings playing games and watching movies with people that I love... those times have given me the best memories of this past year.
Thank you so much, everyone. You all have helped to make 2014 the best year yet. :) Now let's make 2015 even better.... ;)
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
"Your personal beliefs offend me"
There's one thing I've noticed about
Americans lately: we are people who get really offended. About
everything. Everything. We're offended when people say something that we
don't agree with, but not only that, some people are offended when
other people don't BELIEVE the same things that they do.
What. on. earth.
Is that what our world has become?
Oh my gosh, people. Seriously can everyone just CHILL OUT for one week or something?
Offended, according to google, means: "resentful or annoyed, typically as a result of a perceived insult."
That's
pretty accurate, if you ask me. People act like another person
believing something that they don't agree with is a personal insult,
which means that we have a right to be super resentful/annoyed about it.
Guys,
come on. Nothing good comes out of someone acting offended by a
statement/belief. Just because someone says something that you don't
agree with or something that may not be the nicest thing DOES NOT mean
you have to be offended.
Gay people get offended when people
don't agree with their beliefs, different races get offended when things
aren't perfectly equal. Women get offended that things aren't perfectly
equal for them. But is being offended really the right response? I'm
not so sure it is.
I don't think Jesus was
ever "offended" by what people/said did. Did he agree with everything
other people said/did? Obviously not. He wasn't offended when
people mocked him or blatantly disagreed with his teachings. He did
rebuke people, and sometimes it was harsh. But he didn't do it because
he was offended. Being offended isn't a good reason to do anything.
Doing something out of love, or doing something because you know it is
what is right/for the best, that's different. But please, please, don't
make decisions or act on something just because you were offended.
Martin Luther King Jr. didn't help lead the civil rights movement because he was offended
by how the blacks were being treated. He saw discrimination as WRONG,
so he did what he believed was RIGHT, but he didn't do it because he
felt like people were personally insulting him and he was resentful.
It's all about your motives.
It seems to
me that the people in history who truly wanted to make a difference...
they weren't the people standing from soap boxes shouting things about
how things are so unfair for them and yelling about how they are soooo
upset that you don't agree with them.
No, that's not how it goes.
The
people who truly make a difference realize that there is some injustice
going on, or something is truly wrong, and they want to fix it. But
they aren't fixing it just because they're resentful towards other
people, they fix problems because they want to make the world a better
place and they are motivated by what they believe is RIGHT, not by what
they were offended by.
So, guess what,
everyone? You don't have to be offended by everything. Please don't be.
It makes for a lot of grumpy people who hate each other and just want to
get back at other people and show that "I'm better than they are!"
Let's learn to be a society that can respectfully disagree with others,
and at the same time work to make necessary changes in a thoughtful and kind way on issues that we believe are right/wrong.
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
"...And I was alone."
The other day I was looking through some things that I wrote a couple years ago, and I came across this. I kinda liked it:
"I always have
this fear that one day you are going to discover that I'm not as great as you
once thought I was. <--this is to be alone.
Once
upon a time, I surrounded myself with a wall. Not just any wall… not just wall
of sticks or stones. I surrounded myself with a fortress. A mental fortress.
Impossible for even the strongest to penetrate. I was determined, so very
determined, that I would be the only one allowed inside my fortress. I did not
want to be close to other people. Confined within the walls that I had so
carefully constructed, I was able to create my own world. I had my own dreams
and lived my own destiny. I did not want others to truly know me. Within me
resided the fear that one day I would be discovered. But no! I would not let
that happen. The truth is; I was afraid. Afraid to let people befriend me, afraid
to let them discover who I truly was. I was not perfect. In fact, I was far
from it. I raised the expectations for myself to a height where I almost
expected myself to achieve perfection – but I was never able to do so. I felt
that those around me wanted me to be so perfect that they expected more of me
than I was able to give. It was a panicked feeling, the feeling that I was not
good enough, that I could never be good enough. I gave myself the appearance of
someone who was to be desired, loved. I was, I suppose you could say, popular,
adored. But that wasn’t the real me, that was a disguise that I had thrown on
top of my real identity because I didn’t want people to know that I wasn’t
really as great as they thought I was. But living a lie, while the lie may have
looked good, made me an outcast on the inside. I had forbidden myself to grow
close to anyone, because I knew that that would mean uncovering who I truly
was. I had no one to talk to about my deepest troubles, no one to confide in. I
knew that I was a broken person – but I didn’t want others to know. But then, slowly,
I began to realize, that to live with the fearful mindset of wanting to be
great only because I wanted to keep people from discovering the true me – that
mindset is loneliness, solitude. And I was alone. I realized that I’d rather
have people see the true, plain, not-all-that-interesting me, rather than be
alone. So I tore down the wall. Bit by bit, it all came crashing down around
me. If I had previously stood a princess, now I stood a pauper. My life changed
drastically. Many rejected me. I had expected this; people did indeed realize
that I was not as great as I had once claimed to be. But then there were others
who stuck by me. People who truly did understand, people who didn’t care who I
was or that I was so imperfect. Those were the people who were real. They were
real enough to realize that not everyone is perfect, that everyone makes
mistakes. They understood that people hurt, that everyone falls down. And those
friends are the people who, when I did fall down, were able to pick me up
again."
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
rainy day thoughts
Some days are sunny and life is easy and everyone is happy and you
wonder if things could ever go wrong. But some days are also cloudy and
you think it might rain and you spend the day at home listening to sad
music and thinking over every hard thing in life, and it seems impossible to
imagine ever being truly happy and content with your life. There will be times when I stay up late trying to
solve all the world's problems. There will be days when I forget to
smile.
But that's okay, because even though I'm imperfect, I still want to love you. You will have
hard days, and I will too... some days I will cry and you won't be around to comfort me. But I want to love you through
the hard days and through the wonderful days. I want to be by your
side when you need me, and I want to be by your side on the sunny days
when the happiest memories are made. You are like sunshine on the darkest days, you make me smile at my weakest moments. When I'm with
you, the stars seem to shine brighter, my heart is warmer, and you make me want to be content with where I am, but still live life to the fullest.
Monday, September 8, 2014
[a post on thankfulness]
I think I've posted about thankfulness before... yeah, pretty sure I have. But that's okay, because it's one of those topics that doesn't get old quickly.
Anyways, I was nominated to do the 5-day gratitude challenge, or whatever the official title of it is called, but instead of doing the challenge over 5 days (I did day #1 yesterday already), I decided to just combine the last four days into a blog post... because I want to write about thankfulness, and that way y'all don't have to see stuff from me every single day. This is just easier. :)
Now, you can be thankful for the little things in life and you can be thankful for the big things in life. I personally think it's important to appreciate BOTH - the little things can bring us so much joy, the big things are great too. We never know when something may be lost and we won't have the chance to be thankful for it any more.
I think that being thankful is a mindset. It's a mindset of not taking things for granted, appreciating what things you do have even on hard days, and taking the time to enjoy those little moments in life that we never want to forget. (p.s. this mindset lasts for longer than a 5 day challenge).
Guys, we live in the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA - do you know what that means? It means we're some of the most blessed people in the whole. wide. world. And you know what? I think that despite that, we still complain more than any other country in the world (I could be wrong, but that's what it seems like). Don't get me wrong, I complain too... sometimes a lot, but that is not something that I want to be known for or something that I am proud of.
When I take a step back and look at the big picture, there is no reason for Americans to be so ungrateful about everything. C'MON EVERYONE-- when I look at the news going on around the world, I can't help but be amazed at how blessed I am. I can worship God freely, I can proclaim my agreement or disagreement with politicians, I don't have to worry about leaving my house and getting blown up, any citizen 18 & up can vote (regardless of race or gender), we all have food on our tables, we have soldiers who fight to protect us and our rights, most of us have parents who care about us, people have the ability to choose to educate their kids how they want... ALL OF THESE THINGS (the list goes on and on)... and yet, people still complain or point out how they don't have the newest phone model, so their life is just really terrible, or they're just soooo tired of going to school and they wish they could stay home all day. That is lame. We take so many things for GRANTED here, things that other people in other countries would be so grateful to have (like education, food, a family, protection, a government that isn't openly terribly corrupt and goes about killing all its citizens, etc. (guys I know our government isn't the best... but it's still way better than governments in other countries)).
We are so focused on getting MORE that we forget what we already HAVE. We somehow look past all of the things that we have been blessed with and instead all we want are things that we don't have, and we think "oh, well if I had that, then I wouldn't want anything else because that thing would make me happy". In the words of one of Jake Owen's songs... "We all want what we ain't got".
Things are SO flipped around in the world. We have everything but complain as if we have nothing, and people in other countries have nothing and still are so thankful for even the littlest things in life. That doesn't make sense.
Closing thoughts: Be thankful for what you have, because... someday you may not have that stuff any more. Be grateful for the friends that you have now and your loving family. Right now have the ability to speak up about your beliefs and to talk to people in power about why you think they should change their ideas or what you like about what they're doing - not everyone has that in other countries. Take full advantage of your education, because even though a lot of people in my generation don't enjoy it or care about their education, we are so blessed to even be able to take the classes that we do and go to colleges and universities and gain knowledge.
YOU have been incredibly blessed where you are right now, understand that. Now go forth and be thankful in your life for the little things and the big things, and if somehow you lose everything in life, still be thankful that you serve a great God who has given you life on this earth. Finally, make being thankful a mindset, not just something that you do occasionally or for a 5 day challenge.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 "... give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."
Anyways, I was nominated to do the 5-day gratitude challenge, or whatever the official title of it is called, but instead of doing the challenge over 5 days (I did day #1 yesterday already), I decided to just combine the last four days into a blog post... because I want to write about thankfulness, and that way y'all don't have to see stuff from me every single day. This is just easier. :)
Now, you can be thankful for the little things in life and you can be thankful for the big things in life. I personally think it's important to appreciate BOTH - the little things can bring us so much joy, the big things are great too. We never know when something may be lost and we won't have the chance to be thankful for it any more.
I think that being thankful is a mindset. It's a mindset of not taking things for granted, appreciating what things you do have even on hard days, and taking the time to enjoy those little moments in life that we never want to forget. (p.s. this mindset lasts for longer than a 5 day challenge).
Guys, we live in the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA - do you know what that means? It means we're some of the most blessed people in the whole. wide. world. And you know what? I think that despite that, we still complain more than any other country in the world (I could be wrong, but that's what it seems like). Don't get me wrong, I complain too... sometimes a lot, but that is not something that I want to be known for or something that I am proud of.
When I take a step back and look at the big picture, there is no reason for Americans to be so ungrateful about everything. C'MON EVERYONE-- when I look at the news going on around the world, I can't help but be amazed at how blessed I am. I can worship God freely, I can proclaim my agreement or disagreement with politicians, I don't have to worry about leaving my house and getting blown up, any citizen 18 & up can vote (regardless of race or gender), we all have food on our tables, we have soldiers who fight to protect us and our rights, most of us have parents who care about us, people have the ability to choose to educate their kids how they want... ALL OF THESE THINGS (the list goes on and on)... and yet, people still complain or point out how they don't have the newest phone model, so their life is just really terrible, or they're just soooo tired of going to school and they wish they could stay home all day. That is lame. We take so many things for GRANTED here, things that other people in other countries would be so grateful to have (like education, food, a family, protection, a government that isn't openly terribly corrupt and goes about killing all its citizens, etc. (guys I know our government isn't the best... but it's still way better than governments in other countries)).
We are so focused on getting MORE that we forget what we already HAVE. We somehow look past all of the things that we have been blessed with and instead all we want are things that we don't have, and we think "oh, well if I had that, then I wouldn't want anything else because that thing would make me happy". In the words of one of Jake Owen's songs... "We all want what we ain't got".
Things are SO flipped around in the world. We have everything but complain as if we have nothing, and people in other countries have nothing and still are so thankful for even the littlest things in life. That doesn't make sense.
Closing thoughts: Be thankful for what you have, because... someday you may not have that stuff any more. Be grateful for the friends that you have now and your loving family. Right now have the ability to speak up about your beliefs and to talk to people in power about why you think they should change their ideas or what you like about what they're doing - not everyone has that in other countries. Take full advantage of your education, because even though a lot of people in my generation don't enjoy it or care about their education, we are so blessed to even be able to take the classes that we do and go to colleges and universities and gain knowledge.
YOU have been incredibly blessed where you are right now, understand that. Now go forth and be thankful in your life for the little things and the big things, and if somehow you lose everything in life, still be thankful that you serve a great God who has given you life on this earth. Finally, make being thankful a mindset, not just something that you do occasionally or for a 5 day challenge.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 "... give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."
Sunday, August 17, 2014
I believe in equal opportunity, but I'm not a feminist
Feminism seems to be a popular topic these days. I have friends that are feminists, and I have friends that aren't feminists... and I respect them all. I believe that men and women should all have equal opportunities in the world, and if a woman wants to go out in the world and accomplish great things, she should totally go for it. But when people ask me if I am a feminist, the answer is no, for a few reasons.
A lot of people tell me, "Oh, you should be a feminist. Some feminists have liberal ideas, but not everyone is like that." Of course not everyone is like that, but in my experience, and from speaking to several feminists that I know, it seems that actually... most of the feminist movement is like that. In fact, I would say that about 95% of the feminists that I know do support the liberal principles that the feminist movement as a whole has set forth (things like women should be allowed to control their bodies, which means that abortion is okay). I find it very hard to sympathize or side with a group of people that, for the most part (in my experience), are advocates for many ideas that I disagree with.
First off, maybe this one isn’t as important, but it’s important to me. Let’s just take a look at the word “feminist”. Nothing about that word, in and of itself, speaks “equality” to me. All other words similar to this word value one thing/person above another. For example, a sexist is someone who values one sex above another. A racist is someone who values one race above another. A socialist or capitalist is someone who values a certain kind of government or economic system above another kind. This leads me to believe that the word "feminist" really doesn't have anything to do with equality, it honestly just sounds like a word that means that some people value women above other people. Sorry, just what it sounds like. It's not a word that tells me anything about the feminist movement being all about equality.
Secondly, the feminist movement claims that their main goal is equality, but equality isn't something that you can force. For example, there is an unequal number of men and women in Congress, and I really don’t have a problem with that. There could be so many outside reasons for that, and I don’t think we should ever reach the point where feminists are so passionate about things being equal, that they insist that an equal number of men and women work in Congress. I think everyone should have equal opportunity (the idea that everyone should have the same chance to do something), but you should never force there to be equality simply by comparing statistics of the number of men to women in certain things.
I also don't like or appreciate how the feminists focus so much on how unjust things are for women, how unequal things are, etc. The problem is that they fail to acknowledge how many rights and freedoms women have in the United States compared to other countries. Compared to women in a lot of other countries around the world, we are doing SO WELL. We are actually treated as human beings. Personally, I’d rather focus my time and energy into helping other women around the globe get the point where we are now, I'd rather help those women be treated like human beings, instead of worrying about the fact that right now, there are more men than women in Congress, and women make a little bit less than men. It’s really not that big of a deal, compared to problems that other women face around the globe. I am so thankful for the freedoms and rights that we as women, DO have today.
The whole idea of feminism, from what I’ve seen and read, is focused on the idea that women don’t want to just stay at home, they want to get out there and do things, they want to run for political office, they want to be CEO’s, etc. Now there’s nothing wrong with having big goals, but I do have a problem with the idea that staying at home and working is somehow “not good enough”. My mom used to teach at a university, but she gave that career up so that she could raise her kids (one of which is me) at home. I have NEVER seen her as being “lesser” than other women, or her job somehow being “unequal”, simply because she chose to stay home instead of going out and teaching or doing something that is supposedly greater. In fact, I would argue that all jobs are equally important, all are necessary, including the job of just being a mom. Moms raise the children up to be good citizens of the country, they have the ability to teach them life lessons, good morals, etc. That is a noble job. I know that I have the ability to someday do something like run for a political office, but I’m not entirely sure that that’s what I want to do with my life. I’m actually strongly considering raising a family, as a job. I wouldn’t get paid for that, but by no means would I think that I am somehow on an unequal level for men. I would be more than happy to spend a part of my life raising children, and then maybe later in my life I could do something in politics (like when my children get older, be a lobbyist or something). Again, don’t get me wrong, if you want to go to law school or run for president or whatever, GO FOR IT. That’s awesome that you want to do that. But I don’t like the way the feminist movement seems to think that men somehow get more important jobs than women, when in fact, I believe women have been given the wonderful opportunity to raise up the next generation. We don’t all have to do the same thing, we’re all different, and that’s okay. I’ve come to accept that guys are probably just better at some things than girls are (like guys are generally better at carrying heavy stones and building big buildings than girls are), and then girls are better at some things than boys are. That’s just how we are. AND THAT’S OKAY. Women should never feel obligated to do something that a man is doing, just to feel equal.
I realize that what I said is a generalization of the feminist movement, but that is how I see the movement as a whole, and it's why I won't call myself a feminist. As I said, I believe in equal opportunity for men AND women, but the feminist movement promotes so much more than that, and I can't bring myself to support them.
A lot of people tell me, "Oh, you should be a feminist. Some feminists have liberal ideas, but not everyone is like that." Of course not everyone is like that, but in my experience, and from speaking to several feminists that I know, it seems that actually... most of the feminist movement is like that. In fact, I would say that about 95% of the feminists that I know do support the liberal principles that the feminist movement as a whole has set forth (things like women should be allowed to control their bodies, which means that abortion is okay). I find it very hard to sympathize or side with a group of people that, for the most part (in my experience), are advocates for many ideas that I disagree with.
First off, maybe this one isn’t as important, but it’s important to me. Let’s just take a look at the word “feminist”. Nothing about that word, in and of itself, speaks “equality” to me. All other words similar to this word value one thing/person above another. For example, a sexist is someone who values one sex above another. A racist is someone who values one race above another. A socialist or capitalist is someone who values a certain kind of government or economic system above another kind. This leads me to believe that the word "feminist" really doesn't have anything to do with equality, it honestly just sounds like a word that means that some people value women above other people. Sorry, just what it sounds like. It's not a word that tells me anything about the feminist movement being all about equality.
Secondly, the feminist movement claims that their main goal is equality, but equality isn't something that you can force. For example, there is an unequal number of men and women in Congress, and I really don’t have a problem with that. There could be so many outside reasons for that, and I don’t think we should ever reach the point where feminists are so passionate about things being equal, that they insist that an equal number of men and women work in Congress. I think everyone should have equal opportunity (the idea that everyone should have the same chance to do something), but you should never force there to be equality simply by comparing statistics of the number of men to women in certain things.
I also don't like or appreciate how the feminists focus so much on how unjust things are for women, how unequal things are, etc. The problem is that they fail to acknowledge how many rights and freedoms women have in the United States compared to other countries. Compared to women in a lot of other countries around the world, we are doing SO WELL. We are actually treated as human beings. Personally, I’d rather focus my time and energy into helping other women around the globe get the point where we are now, I'd rather help those women be treated like human beings, instead of worrying about the fact that right now, there are more men than women in Congress, and women make a little bit less than men. It’s really not that big of a deal, compared to problems that other women face around the globe. I am so thankful for the freedoms and rights that we as women, DO have today.
The whole idea of feminism, from what I’ve seen and read, is focused on the idea that women don’t want to just stay at home, they want to get out there and do things, they want to run for political office, they want to be CEO’s, etc. Now there’s nothing wrong with having big goals, but I do have a problem with the idea that staying at home and working is somehow “not good enough”. My mom used to teach at a university, but she gave that career up so that she could raise her kids (one of which is me) at home. I have NEVER seen her as being “lesser” than other women, or her job somehow being “unequal”, simply because she chose to stay home instead of going out and teaching or doing something that is supposedly greater. In fact, I would argue that all jobs are equally important, all are necessary, including the job of just being a mom. Moms raise the children up to be good citizens of the country, they have the ability to teach them life lessons, good morals, etc. That is a noble job. I know that I have the ability to someday do something like run for a political office, but I’m not entirely sure that that’s what I want to do with my life. I’m actually strongly considering raising a family, as a job. I wouldn’t get paid for that, but by no means would I think that I am somehow on an unequal level for men. I would be more than happy to spend a part of my life raising children, and then maybe later in my life I could do something in politics (like when my children get older, be a lobbyist or something). Again, don’t get me wrong, if you want to go to law school or run for president or whatever, GO FOR IT. That’s awesome that you want to do that. But I don’t like the way the feminist movement seems to think that men somehow get more important jobs than women, when in fact, I believe women have been given the wonderful opportunity to raise up the next generation. We don’t all have to do the same thing, we’re all different, and that’s okay. I’ve come to accept that guys are probably just better at some things than girls are (like guys are generally better at carrying heavy stones and building big buildings than girls are), and then girls are better at some things than boys are. That’s just how we are. AND THAT’S OKAY. Women should never feel obligated to do something that a man is doing, just to feel equal.
I realize that what I said is a generalization of the feminist movement, but that is how I see the movement as a whole, and it's why I won't call myself a feminist. As I said, I believe in equal opportunity for men AND women, but the feminist movement promotes so much more than that, and I can't bring myself to support them.
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