Change

The other day I was looking through some old things I had written, and I found a poem that I wrote a few months ago. It immediately captured my attention because it described perfectly just exactly what I was going through.

[Untitled Poem]

When I fall asleep at night,

In my dreams I think of you

You used to do the same with me

But now I don't think you do

You're my last thought each night

My first thought when I wake

But something happened.
You woke one day 

And turned the page

You started a new chapter of your life

And my name isn't on that page. 

I think its time I closed the door

Maybe it's time to think of you no more

You started again

You went back to square one

You never turned back

I hoped for a while
That you'd look back to me

But it never happened

The time tore me down

I finally broke

I closed the door that you'd never come through again
And opened a new one

Your name wasn't carved on this door
And I began again.

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Sometimes it's really hard for me to move on from things. I'm a very open person... I tell people things. I suppose that makes me a vulnerable person, more prone to be hurt by people. I love people a lot, I am close with them, I grow with them. And sometimes... people leave my life. They don't always come back. That is hard for me to accept. I don't WANT them to leave, I want everyone to always stay here with me. Yes, sometimes I find it hard to accept change. But changes comes. People walk out of my life, but then again.... sometimes I walk out of theirs. 

What I need to keep in mind is that God is always closing doors... and at the same time, opening new ones. People walk out of our life for a reason. Maybe it's so that God can present us to new people or to a new opportunity. Yes, change hurts. It's dreadfully hard sometimes. I don't always think I can bear it... and that is when I throw myself at the foot of the cross and ask for God's help. I can't face this life alone. Whenever I turn to Christ in hard times, I am always ALWAYS reminded that He has a reason for closing doors. And He opens new ones. It's our choice whether or not we want to cling to the things in the past... or walk through that new door. Recently I have been learning to see that new door as an opportunity, an experience, a new lesson to be learned. 

There are some situations where I need to just move on.... start over... begin again... and walk through a new door.