Feminism seems to be a popular topic these days. I have friends that are feminists, and I have friends that aren't feminists... and I respect them all. I believe that men and women should all have equal opportunities in the world, and if a woman wants to go out in the world and accomplish great things, she should totally go for it. But when people ask me if I am a feminist, the answer is no, for a few reasons.
A lot of people tell me, "Oh, you should be a feminist. Some feminists have liberal ideas, but not everyone is like that." Of course not everyone is like that, but in my experience, and from speaking to several feminists that I know, it seems that actually... most of the feminist movement is like that. In fact, I would say that about 95% of the feminists that I know do support the liberal principles that the feminist movement as a whole has set forth (things like women should be allowed to control their bodies, which means that abortion is okay). I find it very hard to sympathize or side with a group of people that, for the most part (in my experience), are advocates for many ideas that I disagree with.
First off, maybe this one isn’t as important, but it’s important to
me. Let’s just take a look at the word “feminist”. Nothing about that
word, in and of itself, speaks “equality” to me. All other words similar
to this word value one thing/person above another. For example, a
sexist is someone who values one sex above another. A racist is someone
who values one race above another. A socialist or capitalist is someone
who values a certain kind of government or economic system above another kind. This leads
me to believe that the word "feminist" really doesn't have anything to do with equality, it honestly just sounds like a word that means that some people value women above other people. Sorry, just what it sounds like. It's not a word that tells me anything about the feminist movement being all about equality.
Secondly, the feminist movement claims that their main goal is equality, but equality isn't something that you can force. For example, there is an unequal number of men and women in
Congress, and I really don’t have a problem with that. There could be so
many outside reasons for that, and I don’t think we should ever reach
the point where feminists are so passionate about things being equal,
that they insist that an equal number of men and women work in Congress.
I think everyone should have equal opportunity (the idea that everyone should have the same chance to do something), but you should
never force there to be equality simply by comparing statistics of the
number of men to women in certain things.
I also don't like or appreciate how the feminists focus so much on how unjust things are for women, how unequal things are, etc. The problem is that they fail to acknowledge how many rights and freedoms women have in the United States compared to other countries. Compared to women in a lot of other
countries around the world, we are doing SO WELL. We are actually
treated as human beings. Personally, I’d rather focus my time and energy
into helping other women around the globe get the point where we are
now, I'd rather help those women be treated like human beings, instead of worrying about the fact that right now, there are more
men than women in Congress, and women make a little bit less than men.
It’s really not that big of a deal, compared to problems that other
women face around the globe. I am so thankful for the freedoms and rights
that we as women, DO have today.
The whole idea of feminism,
from what I’ve seen and read, is focused on the idea that women don’t
want to just stay at home, they want to get out there and do things,
they want to run for political office, they want to be CEO’s, etc. Now
there’s nothing wrong with having big goals, but I do have a problem
with the idea that staying at home and working is somehow “not good
enough”. My mom used to teach at a university, but she gave that career
up so that she could raise her kids (one of which is me) at home. I have
NEVER seen her as being “lesser” than other women, or her job somehow
being “unequal”, simply because she chose to stay home instead of going
out and teaching or doing something that is supposedly greater. In fact,
I would argue that all jobs are equally important, all are necessary,
including the job of just being a mom. Moms raise the children up to be
good citizens of the country, they have the ability to teach them life
lessons, good morals, etc. That is a noble job. I know that I have the
ability to someday do something like run for a political office, but I’m
not entirely sure that that’s what I want to do with my life. I’m
actually strongly considering raising a family, as a job. I wouldn’t get
paid for that, but by no means would I think that I am somehow on an
unequal level for men. I would be more than happy to spend a part of my
life raising children, and then maybe later in my life I could do
something in politics (like when my children get older, be a lobbyist or
something). Again, don’t get me wrong, if you want to go to law school
or run for president or whatever, GO FOR IT. That’s awesome that you
want to do that. But I don’t like the way the feminist movement seems to
think that men somehow get more important jobs than women, when in
fact, I believe women have been given the wonderful opportunity to raise up
the next generation. We don’t all have to do the same thing, we’re all
different, and that’s okay. I’ve come to accept that guys are probably
just better at some things than girls are (like guys are generally
better at carrying heavy stones and building big buildings than girls
are), and then girls are better at some things than boys are. That’s
just how we are. AND THAT’S OKAY. Women should never feel obligated to
do something that a man is doing, just to feel equal.
I realize that what I said is a generalization of the feminist movement, but that is how I see the movement as a whole, and it's why I won't call myself a feminist. As I said, I believe in equal opportunity for men AND women, but the feminist movement promotes so much more than that, and I can't bring myself to support them.
